Whisper of the heart

Without yourself, you are alone...

Friday, September 29, 2006

ugh again!

I am so damn pissed with someone i just feel like ------- on --- ----.

And please dont bother messaging me asking who...and no, no foul word is on in blanks.
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Monday, September 25, 2006

Sigh!

I’m so tired of things that are going around me.

And I’m so tired of getting tired of all these.

It’s funny. I thought I had come so far but now suddenly, I feel the blues when I wake up in the morning, dreading the day.

I’m tired of crying and muffling the sound with my pillow, trying to keep all my despair to myself.

Sigh. I just don’t want this right now. I have had enough.
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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Ugh!


Just got the project schedule for the next three months.

I just want to scream.
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Friday, September 15, 2006

Clear

Everything that was driving me to almost boiling point has now been cleared. It’s a good thing to just confront directly and get everything sorted out, instead of voicing displeasure from the back and getting frustrated. I do value the way the person digested it and acted accordingly. Now that everything is clear, I can have two great days ahead for the weekend.

I was supposed to go home earlier to get back to my book. I’m rather obsessed really. But the production system services which we had to fine tune earlier choose precisely 7pm when I was about to pack up for the day; to spit out error messages and since I was the only one left with the vendor, we both had to scramble to get things done. It’s funny really now that I think about it, but my probability of getting fired relies heavily on a single machine in production. If i don't mess the application and there are no errors in production, I stay. If it screws up, my job’s screwed as well. Talk about machine invasion…

My colleague brought me some books by Sophie Kinsella, so with four books, a wedding dinner, a movie date and random outings with sweet bf lined up, I do have my weekend pretty occupied.

Have a good day. Ciaoz!
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Thursday, September 14, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SWEETEST GEM, MY MOTHER ;-)
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Bookie!

I walked around a nearby bookstore when I was left alone to wander for about one and a half hour after work. I decided to do myself a favor and get some books to relive my reading passion. Sidney Sheldon was in my list, although I was deeply disappointed with ‘The Other Side of Midnight’.

I scoured each shelf but was unable to spot any books by him so I enquired with the assistant who was good enough to rush to my assistance but they only had two books left, one was his autobiography, ‘The Other Side of Me’ and most autobiographies bore me to death. ‘Naked face’ was old and torn at the sides so I decided to take a peek at the top 10 list pasted on the wall and my eyes caught on the first in the list, The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger. I don’t exactly buy a book based on its popularity but it looked and sounded promising. Besides who could actually resist something that has the word ‘Prada’ printed on it. I asked the assistant to unwrap the plastic cover and took the book to a corner to read before deciding to buy it. I have turned extra cautious when buying books now, since one of the last books I bought, Chicken Soup for the Soul; which was meant for those who are working was utterly boring and I’m still forcing myself to read it for my money’s worth.

Decided to get the book and walked around to check out the rest of the bestsellers. Books by Dan Brown dominated the main display area. I actually tried reading Da Vinci Code which I borrowed from my brother but the first 30 pages failed to hold my interest as well. I will force myself to read it again as I am curious why a fictional story got the world into a spasm of frenzy. I have read his ‘Digital Fortress’ and that book was a real captivating thriller and would be borrowing ‘Deception Point’ from my brother to read during my big break next month.

I then spotted ‘How to kill a Mocking Bird’ on sale for 20%. Grabbed it as well since the title has always piqued my interested but I never got around buying and reading it. Living on a meager student’s allowance never really allowed me to lavish myself with expensive books last time. Got to the counter to pay and the cashier was nice enough to give me another 10% rebate although I was not a member. I purchased both books for about MYR 46, a good bargain indeed.

I was actually reading up on Jeffrey Archer’s Honour Among Thieves, limiting myself to 10 pages per day. I have been a huge fan of Archer as well, relishing on his Kane and Abel series but this book about the Middle East and US conflict of power failed miserably to appeal to me especially with the fact that I could actually watch the ‘real’ movie every time I tune in to the CNN and Buletin Utama. I got this book for my brother who loves reading about war, crimes and national heroes but he asked me to keep it until his exams are over.

Last night I pulled out Archer’s book under my bed and returned it to my small bookshelf to be read later and unwrapped The Devil Wears Prada. Now, I am not planning to give a book review on this one but I found it outrageous and funny, a perfect combination. I started reading around 10 pm and was unable to call it quits until 3 am. I still have another half a book to finish and I just can’t wait to finish work today and continue with it.

I came to work with hardly 4 hours of sleep and downed half a mug of freshly ground coffee. Not exactly the Starbucks tall latte Miranda Priestly has in the morning, but hey, who’s complaining?
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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Stressed yet still fine

I’m suddenly very stressed out today. I am not happy with things that have been going on for a few days. It’s unprofessional, it’s back-stabbing.

I’m trying not to focus on the negative side but somehow I’m worried if I ignore it now, it will turn into a huge black hole that sucks everything in, all at one go, leaving me completely helpless.

I am not happy with a few things that I have done myself and I could not stop feeling bad about it. Just hate facing a situation when every human touch gets flushed down the toilet and it’s now which head you step on to get to the prize.

I’m stressed. I am unsure how to handle this situation at hand, which I need to face by tomorrow before it gets out of hand.

Been awfully quiet the whole day. I hate talking when I don’t feel like myself.

It’s a good thing I could close my eyes and everything else that revolves around this world seems insignificant and I have someone who is not physically with me to thank for.

Somehow deep inside I am very grateful for the great blessing in my life right now.
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Monday, September 11, 2006

The Little Guy in the House

This is the little guy who lives in the house im currently renting. He's about 1 year plus and very very naughty.

His daily routine in the morning would be to wake up and cry when the mother and father leaves to work, and get pacified by the maid followed by another cry when i get downstairs to bathe and getting pacified by the maid again and then another cry when i leave to work.

Suprisingly he didn't cry at all this morning.

At night, he would refuse to sleep early and the father would then walk him around the house. Too pampered for my liking sometimes, if my kids cry too much unnecessarily, they would get spanking from me.

He's also very facinated by my room and would come in and take something along with him, last week it was my shampoo that went missing.

He's also obssessed with football and will not play with any other toys. Cars and action figures would not get his two cents worth. He would kick the football around the house and scream 'Goal' with his hands up the air with every kick. Cute! Probably he's meant to take our embarassing Malaysian football team from the local cup level to World Cup championship. Next Ronaldino ! :-)

And he has this cutest rat like smile that shows his two front white teeth. It's nice to have kids at home. They take your mind off the world.






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Me Room

Weekend was spent at home. It was super good to be home with all the siblings back as well.

Already applied long leave for Deepavali. Can't wait!

I'm so tired right now. Went out for lunch at Secret receipe, bought back Caramel cheese cake, yet to taste. The afternoon sun seems to be sucking out the energy from me.

Anyway, i spent decorating the walls of my room a few weeks back. The hearts are made out of coloured paper i bought ages ago from MPH. The Poohs I got from a local Pasar Malam.



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My heart Just Cracked Into Two





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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Happy Anniversary

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Friday, September 08, 2006

ZZZZZZZ

It’s Friday and I’m so not in the mood to stay awake. I want to sleep, sleep, sleep. Been lagging on the sleep department lately.

Wait ah minute, I don’t feel like blogging now. Bye.
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