you will never appreciate something unless it's no longer there

all these while when you were always there for me, i took you for granted. i never really appreciated you and i didnt treat you well but you were still there for me, caring and loving without a condition and always making sure that i dont get hurt. when i am down or if i need help, you always come rushing to rescue me but i was too blind to notice all that at that time. i kept trying to find care and love elsewhere without realising it was already there with me all the while.

but when you needed me the most, i kept pushing you aside. i never stopped and thought about how hurt you will get. i didnt include you in my life and went on with my routine. i was so bothered about other people who dont even mean a thing in my life.

when you came and told me that you might be leaving to some other place, i realised what a complete fool i had been. why was i so blind and selfish, unable to see the pure love god had bestowed on me through you?

the whole night, i cried myself to sleep. it felt as if something so important and precious is slipping away from my hands. i know i can never find someone like you. im such a fool, such a complete fool.

im so angry with myself for losing the humanity in me. i treated you so badly but you were still there for me. when did i become so materialistic, selfish and self centered? i never wanted to be one. nothing mattered to me but love and now i am being the exact opposite. why did i let the outside world change me?

i have realised my mistake and i beg for your forgiveness. please dont go..please dont go...i can't live without your love..