Morning bugle

I can sit and sing the song titled “ A whole new world” from Aladin because that’s how I feel right now. I feel I am going to embark on a different journey from now on. A life very different from the one I used to lead. I am not afraid, yes, I am not afraid indeed.

While on the way to work today, my mind was occupied with some thoughts about the future. I was asking myself what do I really want to do in this life and I realized something. Although I want to do well in my career, my education, have a family and have some good properties, I am not really crazy about all these things. I want to help those in need. That is something I really really am passionate about. But somehow deep down, I kept asking myself, what do you really want in this life?

I kept asking myself this question and I realized all I really want in this life is to see God. Yeah, maybe after reading this, some people might think I am acting pious or people might think I am a spiritual person. The fact is, I’m neither of those. I am just a simple normal girl but my thirst to see God seems to deepen each day. I kept asking myself the reason for my existence. Why was I born? Just to live, study, have a family and one day die? No! There has to be a deeper reason for all this. Who gave this life to me? Why was I born? What makes me alive and what makes me die one day? Why, caught in the cycle of this life, I have forgotten the one who put me here in the first place? Why? These questions seem to bug me every morning when I am on the way to work.

When I get up in the morning, my thoughts are filled with the problem of the day and I tell myself, there are better things out there to think about rather than to load my brain with other problem and I start thinking of God and I long to see him. There are just too many questions in my head that I want to ask him and only he can give me answers.

I used to have many dreams, buying cars, these and that but now I ask myself, why do I want all that? To show off? I don’t need all that. Don’t get me wrong, I am not denouncing the world. I just want to see God and clear the questions in my head. I want to know the reason for my existence. I just desperately need to know…