Wail of an IT graduate

‘It’s a bird”

“It’s a plane”

“No, no, it’s Me”

Yeah yeah, I’m back. Without much enthusiasm, that is. Why? What do you expect? Staying jobless at home. It’s barely one week and I’m bored to death. When I was working, I wished I was at home, now I’m home, I wish I’m working. Ungrateful creature, you might say but hey, it’s human nature. Never be satisfied with what you have. I’m just living up to it, normal human standard, he he!

Not enough with that, every time I see people I know, especially my relatives, here’s the typical greeting:-

“Hi aunty”

“Hi. Got a job ready ah?”

Grrrrrrrrrrr!

What the hell? It’s scarcely one week and you guys want me to start working? You think they serve jobs right under my nose? I need to apply, I need to attend interviews, you know? Anyway, it’s not like you are feeding me. Heck, even my parents never bother me with jobs. You are really concerned? Oh, how sweet! Then make yourself useful and find a job for me.

Then comes another notion.

“Nowadays graduates very hard to find jobs, ya know?”

And another butt head will second that.

“Yeah, especially IT graduates”

I’m gonna shoot the next person who says that to me. I mean it!

It’s not like I never got a job. The first interview for helpdesk analyst, they asked me if I could start straight away and I couldn’t. I had to complete my training. The second, software developer. The first interview went well. They even called me for a second interview but I declined. The place was way too far. The third was a disaster. I applied something else, they gave me something else unrelated to my field. The following are some of the sentences said to me by the interviewer:-

“We are interviewing you for the post of test engineer (I applied for planner). “

“In your resume, you have stated that you are a software engineering graduate”

“You sure you want this job?”

“This job has nothing to with IT, you sure you want it?”

“Can you stand pressure?”

“You sure?”

“Sometimes I sleep in the factory, you know. So you think you can be able to handle that kind of pressure?”

“If I give you IT job and another is Test engineer job, which would you choose?”

“I’m asking you all this because you don’t have engineering background. I don’t want you to waste your time and we don’t want to waste our time. I’m not very sure if you can handle all the work in engineering department”. (How sweet! In that case, why did you call me for interview in the first place? I have stated clearly in my resume that I’m an IT graduate you know)

“You are a fresh graduate, so I’m not sure if you can handle the pressure.” (if you are not sure, then why the heck did you call me?)

“So, do you know what a printer port is?” (damn! I’m an IT grad! I’m an IT grad! If I don’t know what a printer port is, you might as well shoot me)

“What does a transistor do?”

“You sure you want this job?” (again!)

“You think you can handle this?” (again and again!)

He grilled me like this for about one and a half hours until I felt like dumping all my certificates on his head and tell him, I don’t want your damned job. You can keep it, for all I care. I’m not desperate.

Finally he said ,”I don’t know what to say. I have to ask my boss. We will contact you” (yeah, right!)

One of the Indian personnel there told me that the guy who was supposed to interview me was in a meeting (the boss of the interviewer). He said, if that guy had interviewed me, my chances would have been bright.

Heck, I don’t want the job. Nothing related to my field. Besides, electric, electronics and circuits had never been my cup of tea.

Bill Gates, when are you ever going to discover meeeeeee?