Random thoughts

I know I’m supposed to write about the Cherating trip but it’s way too long and right now I’m just not in the mood to write a long post.

Been listening to only one song since 9 am, Paakatha from Aaru. It’s super nice, or maybe it’s just me. I haven’t listened to movie songs for some time now.

Anyway, that’s not the reason why I popped in to write this.

I was reading TheStar just now. There was more news about Ho Ping, the 7 year old who was murdered recently. Followed by stories about two teens, T. Suren and M. Kadiravan who were in a jubilant mood and could not wait to tell their families that they would be in the Johor team at the national schools’ sepak takraw competition next month but got killed in an accident on their way back home.

Ho Ping. I read somewhere that reading and watching news is one of the contributing factor for depression. How true I don’t know but just look at our news nowadays. Rape and murder jumps out from almost every single page. Cliché topic, I know. But I can’t help but write.

Random thought. During a speech, someone from the floor asked the speaker, why is it that there are so many depressing things on this earth, people kill each other, declare war, rape?

And he said, this life is such a precious gift. But not many know that. Without a proper path, they start searching for happiness in all the wrong places. In the end, they become depressed. Life is taken for granted. When they couldn’t appreciate their own life, do you think they would appreciate another?

I think he is right.

T.Suren, M. Kadivaran. When I was a kid, I remember seeing in Bagavath Gita, (Indian Holy Book) once, a picture of a dead man on the floor and another man sitting beside it, crying. I still remember the picture very vividly until now. I asked my mother what the caption below the picture meant and she said,

A would be dead man crying for an already dead man.

And I asked her again what it meant and she said, The man is crying for his dead friend without knowing for a fact, that the body that he is in is only temporary. When the time comes, the life in it would leave and he would be lying just like the dead friend.

And I asked her again, a confused 8 year old, what is that supposed to mean, and she said, don’t cry over the body. It is only a host for something more precious called life. That life, is the ability for you to breathe, to move, to do whatever you want. Appreciate it. It never dies. It just moves on, leaving the body behind. It’s like you changing your clothes, once it gets dirty, you change to another. You don’t sit and cry for the clothes you discard.

Too much for me to grasp at that moment. But eventually I did understand what she meant although I could not put it in proper words because it’s a feeling, a realization.

It’s easy to lament. Easy to say life is unfair. I do that. Heaps of times. Sometimes I get angry at God. There were times a long long time ago when I wanted to end my life.

But now, no. I still feel life is unfair at times, but there was a promise made to me and I look forward to living.

No matter how depressing the world is, no matter how sad I feel, I look forward to living. I want to live. I want to feel that beauty, that unimaginable happiness. I want to fulfill the reason I was born.

I know I’m writing non-stop and the end has somewhat no relevance to the beginning of my post. But this is just a random thought in my head. And I popped in to write exactly that.