Cry baby cry

I think last weekend was probably the weekend I cried the most. Ok. I’m not asking for pity nor I am a cry baby but seriously weekends alone at in the house sucks big time. I keep thinking of my home, how I wake up in the morning and hear my mum in the kitchen, sister watching TV, father and brothers tinkering on something. It feels great. Doesn’t matter if we are not doing things together but the plain sense of having them there, I never appreciated it until yesterday.

When I told Dad, he said, ‘If you miss someone, you will love them more. Anyway we also miss you too’. Good old dad. =)

I realized something. The fact that I’m alone makes me cling on to bf, expecting him to be by my side 24/7. Whenever he leaves back to his house, I am overwhelmed with some sense of lost ness. I know I should not do that. Being desperate isn’t exactly very attractive but is it wrong wanting to be with someone you love all the time? Not that he complained. He was sweet enough to accompany me but I must try to get my sense of independence back again. I hate having to depend on someone all the time. It makes me lose myself and that’s exactly how I am right now.

Lost. Clingy. Desperate.

And longing for love.

And sometimes wishing i had more work or projects so i won't have time to think of anything else.

But it won’t be long. Rest assured.

I have to get back to being myself. Like what I had written on my blog, ‘Without yourself, you are lost’.